Normal Food

Wednesday, July 10. 2013 

I discovered today that I can eat lots of different things. In fact, I am beginning to suspect that I can eat most anything now, as long as it isn't too dry. And even with those, learning the judicious use of water or milk while I chew and swallow will make all the difference.

The nice thing about this is that I can eat other places without worrying about whether there will be food I can eat or not. 

There is still one problem. Certain spices, vinegar and some fruits just burn my mouth. Petter for sure is on the no go list, miracle whip (because of the vinegar), and chili powder are too. I think garlic is another one Sometimes, a very small amount gives me no problem.

I can usually eat most fruits; I eat until they bother me and then I quit.

I made hamburgers for dinner today. I ate mine in a lettuce leaf, with tomato, it worked really well. I would have used mayo but we were out. We had green bean casserole and beets. No problems there. For supper we had ham sandwiches with mayo and fruit salad, and strawberry-rhubarb pie, eaten at some kind friends. I like pie, it is my favorite dessert at the moment. 

I was proud of myself,  going one whole day eating normal food I still like my soup. It is the way I get most of my calories. It takes me a long time to get down even small portions of "normal food." Chewing with saliva helps mash up the food in your mouth more quickly. I chew and sip, and it just takes longer Plus, I get tired of eating after awhile since it gets boring after awhile eating food that doesn't have much taste. 

In order to keep from losing any more weight, I still need to eat lots of soup.

2 comments:

Renee said...

Bring on the soup then...there are lots of kinds of soup and they are all good it seems. 

July 10, 2013 at 10;24 PM

Darcie said...

What an adventure in learning, huh? I LOVE soup to be honest, and never understand why people don't want it in the summer. I could eat it year round.

July 12, 2013 at 8:36 PM

Time to Write

 Thursday, June 13, 2013

I am going to write today. 

I don't have anything else to do. 

Well, I do, but it isn't time to do those things.

I isn't time to make supper, I like to wait until Lynette gets home from work so we can eat with us.

It isn't time to pile all the suitcases in the living room.

We are going to Oregon. My brother lives there, and we are going to fly out to see him. My parents are generously offering us this trip as a celebration of a cancer free summer. Sadly, Jim can't go, or Lorene and boys. Nathan and Lynette are coming with me. 

We are trying to get everything into carry-on bags with one checked bag for a 7-day trip. I am only bringing one pair of shoes, everything matches. I'm only bringing one sweater. I'm wearing the clothes than take up the most room on the plane. The check-in bag will have all the hair, body and face products that my teenagers are taking. I thought about buying them after we get there, but I changed my mind after seeing the array of bottles and sprays. Not only will they cost more than the $25 charged, I would have to leave them there. 

This is the first time I will be away from home for a week since my surgery. I am stepping very far out of my comfort zone, and I'm a little worried. I'm also pushing out of my mind what my peculiar routines and food preferences might do to my and everyone else's enjoyment. 

I'm pushing them out, because really, so what if this is the first time to deal with it away from home. It won't be the only  time, if I am going to go places and do things, I will have to get used to life as I live it, and what better time than the present. I'm not going to starve to death if there isn't food for me to eat. I'm going to buy soup for the "just in case", times at home. I'm going to take Ensure with me, so I ahve something to eat when I'm out. 

The only thing that is really essential to my well-being is my water. Fifteen minutes without it and my mouth is so dry I start coughing, and then I throw up. Not a pretty sight. 

I have a bag to carry my water bottle and an extra. I have a letter from my doctor that says it is medically necessary for me to have it along at all times. I also have a 2oz. spray bottle to keep my mouth moist. 

It really is time for cleaning the dishes out of the sink, and for setting the table, (since that can be done early,) or changing from one purse to another. Or sweeping the floor, Or brining my suitcase out. 

It could also be time for a nap. I could use one, we are leaving at 5 am tomorrow morning, and I bet I don't go to bed early tonight. 

3 comments:

The J's said...

I'm excited for you! So happy two of your kids get to go too! And what better place for you to step out of your "normal' than with you family. Have a wonderful time, will be looking forward to hearing all about it!

June 13, 2013 at 7:15 PM

Renee said...

YaY for trips with family...and especially when they are also to go SEE family! I hope you just have a splendid time. One sweater wouldn't do me...I would have to to take a warm hoodie. I have finally learned after half a century of living that no matter WHERE you are going, and no matter WHAT time of year you are going...take a warm jacket. It can and probably WILL be chilly sometime or other. Maybe I get that from Gramma Marian...you've got her blood in you too...so better pack a jacket :)

Happy Travels.

June 13, 2013 at 7:45 PM

The Millers said...

Sometime has to be the first time :) might as well be with fabulous family!

June 13, 2013 at 7:51 PM

A Year Ago Today -- Post Two

 Thursday, May 30. 2013

 

I am not planning on doing "one year ago today" posts every week for the next year. This will be the last one except for when I pass my radiation and chemo anniversaries and you have several months to wait for those. Up above, you will see my cheering section while I was having surgery for my tumor. It was so nice of these people to come and sit with Jim and Lynette through which must have been a truly harrowing time. Imagine, to lose sight of me at 11:30 am and not see me again until after midnight. (There were periodic updates.) The surgery took about three hours longer than expected. I was surgery about 9 and a half hours.

I don't remember much about that time. I remember being wheeled away from my family and friends.

Being medicated and recovering leaves one too out of it to think. There is much I don't remember of those first few days in ICU and PCU. I remember how uncomfortable the breathing tube was. Those notes were to ask to get rid of it! I remember waking up in the middle of the night and feeling awake and alone and floating in a sea of darkness with a few points of light. Pain killers can do weird things to my mind. It is rather awe-inspiring to think of having such a massive surgery done. 

This post isn't flowing from my brain through my fingers as some do. I guess it is still too painful of a memory to revisit. It's the day that changed my life, shook me out of complacency, taught me to enjoy life more, made me more fearful and also more trusting. 

May the thing I take out of this experience is more love. 

May 30, 2023 -- Looking back 10 years later and remembering these people that stood by for hours and half the night to be with Jim and Lynette still, well, I don't have the words, but it does something to my heart. And...there is one in the picture that went through much of what I did, and didn't win. 

It hurts my heart to remember that. 

2 comments:

Bonita Sue said...

I won't forget that day either. Even though I was far away at the time, I have vivid memories of many details of the day. Glad that day and year is behind you. 

May 31, 2013 at 7:28 AM

Dodie said...

I, too, remember where I was that day, and the constant undercurrent of worry and concern...the huge relief to hear you were out of surgery...the joy felt when we heard you were writing notes the next morning. We hope that we gained a measure of what you did, from the sidelines...more trust, less complacency, more love.

May 31. 2013j at 8:41 PM

A Year Ago Today

 Thursday, May 23, 2013

A year ago today, I had more hair.

It was also the day I walked into a clinic called the Estabrooke Cancer Center. It was the day I heard the words tumor, biopsy and malignant used about me. It was the day that I realized there really was something bad growing in my head and it was called cancer.

At lot has happened in the last year, and I don't remember a lot of it. I don't want to remember a lot of it. I had major surgery time, chemotherapy, radiation, two weeks in the hospital with low blood counts, more pain medication than I want to remember, a feeding tube, cases of ensure, mucus taking over my sinuses, and pain, pain, pain, in my mouth and throat. 

 I don't really like to think about it. I don't like to go back and think about the physical things or the mental ones. Once you have cancer there are always a few dark places left lurking around in the back of your mind, and it doesn't do to dwell on them. 

I am thinking about life, what I want to do now, what I want to do next year. I want to remember to be thankful...for the friends and family that helped and put up with me, and those who sent cards and gifts. I don't want ot forget how much that meant to me, and I want to get strength and brains enough back to do it for someone else. 

Recovery is still ongoing, but isn't bad living in here. I have a few annoyances that I may have to live with forever, but I'm doing fine.

And I'm happy.

8 comments:

The J's said...

And I am very happy you're on this side of all that my friend!

May 23, 2013 t 4:04 PM

Brenda said...

You just make me smile!! So glad you are happy!

May 23, 2013 at 4:21 PM

The Millers said...

Yay mom!!

May 23, 2013 at 4:26 PM

Anonymous said...

Yes...so glad it's all behind you...Jenelle

May 23, 2013 at 4:55 PM

Renee said...

Totally know what you mean about things you don't want to remember...experiences you don't want to revisit, although mine aren't from cancer. A person just CAN'T do it and I don't think it is healthy to. So, forward is the direction we face, and LOVE that you are enjoying so many things about your days. Life is quite a tapestry of ugly and beautiful isn't it? I LOVE the pic of you!! xo xo

May 23. 2013 at 5:44 PM

Darcie said...

Love your smiling picture. I think your smiling attitude has been has helped carry youj along through this past year...that and strength from above. (((hugs)))

May 23. 2013 at 8:43 PM

The Chairman's Wife said...

Fair are the prospects all ahead! So glad you shared your journey with us. So glad so much is behind you. Now you need to get down to business and rock all those little boys!

May 23, 2013 at 10:12 PM

Oleva said...

Dearest Shelley, 

Your post brought a big lump in my throat. So glad for all this is behind in this experience and wish you were "whole" in ways you aren't and can't be physically A testimony at the last sp. mtg. hit the core of me and still does----"the Lord never adds sorrow to blessing, but He can add blessing to sorrow"

Hope our paths cross again!

Love, 

Carl and Oleva

May 23, 2013 at 10:45 PM

The Third Boy

 Saturday, May 18, 2013

We have a new baby belonging to us. My daughter and husband have produced a beautiful baby boy. 

Again.

Christian Bennett, born 9:08 PM, May 16, 2013, 7# 15 oz., 21 1/4" long, lots of dark hair.

Here's a photo of the other two boys at our house. 

Watering trees or pretending to. 

Unability

 Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Well, it happened.

I knew it would, I was just waiting. 

We went to the high school art show in the art museum and I was asked to leave my water bottle at the door. Now, i can't go much more than three minutes without a sip of water or else my mouth gets very uncomfortable. It dries up so my tongue sticks to the inside of my mouth, people can't understand what I say, it hurts and after awhile I start to cough. So, I told her I don't have saliva and I need it. She replied it was the insurance company's policy. 

I felt bad, and I didn't respond very well. It also meant I either didn't go look at the show, or I walked back through two rooms every 5 minutes to take a drink. Which is what I did, until I found all of Lynette's items, and then I went back and sat down with my water bottle until the rest were finished. 

Then, I remembered I had given myself a talking to about this very subject awhile back. There would be times and places that would be inconvenient for me to carry a water bottle. And that would be okay. There are some things that you cannot do when you are "disable. I agree that "we the people" should accommodate those with differing ablilities so they can enjoy a reasonably normal life. But, there are still things than cannot be accommodated. A person in a wheel chair does not need to climb a mountain. Water and art work don't mix. I can live with that, but I didn't want to on Friday. 

April 30, 2023--What I didn't know at this time, that I know now, is how well a body adapts to changed circumstances. I need water oftener, 10 years later, than I did before cancer, but it isn't the end of the world if I don't carry it with me everywhere. It doesn't affect me as severely and I've gotten used to it. 

6 comments:

The Chairman's Wife said...

Common sense isn't always so common. Wish you wouldn't have to go through experiences like this after all you've been through already! Thanks for sharing. 

Bonita Sue said...

That was a well written insight into you "new normal." I feel bad for you having to make choices like that. It's easy to forget how many ways you life has been impacted. I liked the part about the "talking to" though, and I realize I need to exercise that option in some of my own situations sometimes, especially when I get a little self-centered! I remember Grandma K's saying, "You're not the only pebble on the beach--there's a Little Rock down in Arkansas somewhere. 

May 1, 2013 at 5:19 PM

Mimi/Susan said...

Perhaps a small flask tucked in a belt cell phone holder, with plastic tubing that can be sipped on discreetly? Time ot think outside of the box so that you can enjoy public events Show us a picture of what you come up with! Good luck.

May 1, 2013 at 8:40 PM

The J's said...

Kind of just want to "dislike" this...I'm sure it won't be the last, but hopefully it won't be something that happens too often. :( You need some kind of "water pills"...like Susan said, get creative. 

May 2, 2013 at 9:30 AM

Darcie said...

I think I agree with Susan, not that you want to be dishonest, but if you know yourself that you will be as careful as you can be, and respect things, maybe the policy of  "what no one knows will not hurt them." So many new things for you to think about and deal with. 

May 2, 2013 at 8:37 PM

Renee said...

Once again, you are so sensible in your outlook. I could learn a lot from you! I love you can write it down and express these experiences so well. Does it help at all to chew gum?

May 3, 2013 at 9:27 PM

Chickenless Chicken Pie

Friday, April 26, 2013

I made a beautiful chicken pot pie last night. I used Pioneer Woman's pie crust recipe, which I hesitate to use since tij is so close to my mom's recipe, with different proportions and I have been using hers long before I knew about PW. But, hers was easy to find, since the cookbook was on my counter and easier to reduce since I didn't have enough better to make a whole batch. 

I wanted it all ready to bake for tomorrow night, since I will have grandboys this morning while Lorene has an ultrasound, and my folks are coming today to help work outside, (and will probably expect me to, also), and I really should look at the status of my business checking account, and I will be tired.

Getting it ready was all well and good, I like to have supper ready ahead of time, BUT, as I was talking to Jim on the phone last night (he's out of town", I had one those "OH, NO" moments.

I forgot to put the chicken in!!!

I spent so much time carefully mixing the filling, chopping and precooking the vegetables, wondering how long I should wait for it to cool before putting the top on, (not long enough, obviously,) that I never took the chicken out of the fridge.

And, of course, I had the top crust lying on the counter, rolled to the perfect thickness, almost a circle, bigger than the pie pan, and it rolled over my rolling pin beautifully, not sticking to the counter, placed on the pan so there was crust evenly sticking out around the edges, (not half on like so many times). I fork printed it all around and put it in the fridge. 

Now, what am I supposed to do? Jim does not want to eat vegetable pie. I do not have enough butter to make more crust, neither do I want to. i can't take it off and reroll it, it will have filling stuck to the bottom. 

Stay tuned, something will be done. I'm just not sure what at 6:22 am.

Beautiful Pie

I decided to cut around the top crust and lifted it out in one piece. This was easier because it was cold and sat overnight.

Chopped Chicken--Finally

I sprinkled it on top and mixed it in slightly.

Then I laid the top curst back on and it looks almost as good as it did before. 

I would like to blame is episode on chemo and radiation brain, but I'm not sure. I've done things like this before.

3 comments:

The J's said...

Ooohh my! I suppose you could have just heated the chicken up and served it on the side to mix in with the pie--but looks like you solved it nicely! Thanks for the chuckle this morning. ;)

April 26, 2013 at 8:39 AM

Unknown said...

On one of the nicer days the first of this spring we were over at Nish and Jim's for grilled hamburgers for supper. We got to talking about how nice the hamburgers were and such, when Laura got a funny look on her face and looked down at her bun. She had put the dressing, lettuce, pickles, etc., but had noj hamburger, and had already eaten part of her bun.

April 26, 2013 at 9:07 AM

Renee said..

Oh, this is a good one, and it so could have happened in my kitchen! But, mine never look Taste-of-Home worthy like yours do! Yummy!

April 29, 2013 at 12:07 PM