Another Few Days

 Friday, September 14, 2012

I'm feeling awake for a few minutes so I should try to get some lines down so peple can know how it is going over here. I have been o terribly tired. I have been forgetting that I finished radiation on Friday and went right into chemo on Monday so I'm still dealing with some radiation side effects. I'm not really sure what all to expect with these. The mucus actually seems to be a lessening problem, yet if my mouth gets at all dry., it hurst very badly. So, right now, I am sleeping in the day, managing my medicines both day and night and not sleeping the night. That's not entirely true, of course, I am sleeping some at night, but not as much as I wish I was.

I really feel like I'm just feeling m way through a fog, not really knowing what to expect next, just dealing with the complications and extras as they come. I do believe there is some healing going on. Maybe, just maybe, as little less mouth pain going on here. A little office work being done.

Mom is going to be gone a few days next week, and we are looking at filler's in. I really should be learning to manage more on my own, but I am wondering how tired I am going to be by the middle of next week. i'm also thinking I might be heading into the "I'm too tired to do anything, but I'm a little bored" stage, too. Lynette got me a whole bunch of books on tape, but I think I would still rather be doing something. But, I am forgetting, and I need to remember. They told me it would take as least as long to come back up as if went down, which was 7 weeks of radiation, plus a lost week in the hospital.... It's going to take a while, and a lot of patience. 

4 comments:

Renee said...

Yes, Yes, Yes...don't expect too much of yourself, Shelley. Your body has been through unmeasureable amounts of "cancer cure abuse"...it's going to take weeks and weeks to come back. It's so delightful of you to keep us so well posted...I DO appreciate it a lot. Love to you...

September 14, 2012 9:05 PM

John and Sandy Linder said...

Thinking of you We are having wonderful days at Marysville!

September 15, 2012 at 8:32 AM

Anonymous said...

Ahh, my dear Shelley...you are so incredibly sweet and brave!! Take it easy on yourself and just sleep if that's all you feel like doing! Everything else will get done or will wait til you're ready!! I think of you so much and in being one tiny, little, little bit sick compared to you this weekend, my heart wraps you even tighter in love and hugs!! Hang in there Dearheart!!!! Love, Janet

September 15, 2012 at 7:17 AM

Anita said...

Get the kindle for pc app for your computer and start checking out library books...if you can stay awake, that is ;) Nice to get caught up again. Keep on putting one foot in front of the other! xo

September 16, 2012 at 7:17 AM

A Quick Catch-Up

 Wednesday, September 12, 2012

I am so tired after finishing this last round of chemo, that I can just tell you some of the facts. I finished Day 3, Cycle 3 this morning. I will have one more cycle left. I slept most of the day and I'm thinking for the next few days, that is all I am going to do. 

If rest means healing, I guess I better do it. And we'll see what I'm like when I resurface in a few days. 

3 comments:

Oleva said...

Continue to think of you Shelley.

Glad you keep cheerfully hanging in there. For each one done that is one less to do so we are all looking forward to better days, for you and yours---. We were to the Dells last evening. Glad to get part of the conv. and look forward to Menomonie full time. "Hopefully" Left the grounds feeling anxious about our dear brother Chas. Thain, and heard this morning that he passed away about 1:00 AM Glad for him, the final victory ;has come, but we do and will miss him. Know in these past months n the N.H. (and before) he has done lots of praying for all of us. 

Keep up your fights, Shelley,

Love and care,

Carl and Oleva

September 13, 2012 at 11:03 AM

The J's said...

I like the "only" one more cycle left part! I do hope that you can rest/sleep & heal!! So many thoughts going you way!!

September 13, 2012 at 8:28 PM

Dorothy said...

Sure been thinking about you over there, but doesn't seem like there's much time to write or call. Kinda hard to separate chemo down days from radiation fallout or whatever you call it! Anyway...like Maxine, I like the only one more cycle left part! We had a really good day here at Hector.

Love, Dodie

September 13, 2012 at 10:40 PM

The Last One

Friday, September 7, 2012

Well, it really as the last one, and Jim of course wanted to bring my mask on home. My gut feeling is to burn it. I don't want to keep it around forever, but my dear husband has friends that will dearly love to really get some good looks at it, which Jim to explain where the first markings were, and where the did the 2nd and 3rd boosts.

I am just very very thankful that this mask sitting here in my hallway means I really have finished the last radiation treatment. 

I feel weepy, exhausted, relieved, unbelieving. I feel like I would like to sleep for two weeks. 

After that week in the hospital with no radiation, I was already starting to think I felt changes for the better in radiation side effects. I'm hoping I can tell a difference with all the steroids and extra meds they are giving me for chemo during that week. 

I truly hope that this is the hardest things physically I ever have to do in m life. 

And even if as they say, really, I'm only half done, surely , the half going up, the recovery part, will be more encouraging. 

I think I'll celebrate by having a nap.

September 7, 2022 -- I don't remember having any radiation at all while I was in the hospital but Jim says I went by ambulance the first hospital stay to the cancer center. Now that I think of it I have a vague memory of being taken into the cancer center in a wheel chair. Jim said it happened both ways.  I must not have been very "with it" when I was in the hospital. 

8 comments:

Brenda said...

I am so happy for you!!!

September 7, 2012 at 10:40 AM

John and Sandy Linder said...

Nap on!

September 7, at 2:48 PM

Anita said...

Yay yay yay!!!

so glad you could say good-by to the radiation mask!!

All the best!!!xo

September 7,2012 at 4:09 PM

Renee said...

I hope your nap was the sweetest one you have ever had. What a feeling to know that part is behind you. I am so thankful for you!

September 7, 2012 at 10:12 PM

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your sweet spirit. Our days have been enriched with sweet fellowship at a very special place, close to where you live. 

-A soft heart might get hurt, but never offended.

-Love = Time. When we love someone, we are willing to spend time with them.

- We want to live in a way that is conducive to the spirit of Christ of which comparing ourselves is not profitable in any way, shape, or form. 

June

September 9, 2012 at 10:38 AM

The J's said...

I hope for you it is the hardest things physically you ever have do do , and yay, yay, yay for it being over!!! You DID it!

Missed you and thought about you so much these last days!

September 9, 2012 at 10:50 AM

Ruth said...

That looks like a good thing to toss on the bonfire...toast some marshmallows and make smores to celebrate the end of radiation. Hope every day is a better day. Hugs!

September 10, 2012 at 10:50 AM

Anonymous said...

I too, hope that is the worst things physically that you'll ever have to face! The things you've been "enduring" sound awful and it makes me cry for you. I'm so glad thought, that you are being such a great example of taking all of this with such a good attitude and spirit. I don't know you all that well, but following your blog, during this, has make me realize how special you are in sharing your experiences with us, and doing it in such a "matter-of-fact" way with some humor added in! It's great that you're as far as you are and I hope the rest of it will not be as hard as what you've already gone through.

Please know that we care!

Barb K.

September 111, 2012 at 2:28 PM

Just One More

 Thursday, September 6, 2012

Dear Peoples, 

I've been putting off writing this post. Just saying the words, "I've started the boost, with 5 days left, I've started the second boost, I have 3 days left," seems a bit scary. What if I can't do that last day?

Because tomorrow really is that last day. The very last day of treatment. One more day. AFter that, no more days of radiation. 

I did well today and yesterday, too, they were were long days with extra pictures being taken. The pictures taken today goofed up and had to be retaken, but I was surprisingly calm since they let me take a little mask-free break. It is harder to want to get on the table, but we are learning a system, thank goodness. The biggest on is dealing with the mucus, which I can suction all out, and then think of things or have loud music going.  I eel a new determination to GET THIS DONE, and it will be over. Then there will be better days ahead, slowly better, but better.

Especially since I start chemo again on Monday. And chemo with it's steroids has always made me feel better. So, I can lie around this weekend being tired and having lots of naps, and Jim can pack for my long day of chemo, unless I feel like it, then I can do it. I seem to be quite content sitting around all day doing nothing at chemo, but we really should do some office work. There really isn't much going on for me in chemo, just waiting around mainly for the fluid to go in all day the first day, so the second days of a couple hours each, seem really short and quick. 

Anyway, aren't these some truly beautiful flowers? I've been lucky to get some beautiful bouquets and have thoroughly enjoyed them. It is fun to see the color combinations, the choices of colors, the different kinds of flowers. The floral companies arrange them so well, and what fun it must be to choose the colors to use. 

I really appreciate those who have sent cards and flowers and letters and comments, to cheer up my days and remind me that someone is remembering me. 

Thank you so much dear ones. 

Love, Shelley

7 comments:

Jeanie Printz said...

We're always glad for any blog updates, Shelley, but it's extra special when you feel up to chatting with us! We check in on your daily, sometimes more than once, and have walked this difficult journey by your side. You are on brave woman. I admire the way you face up to the negatives and appreciated the positives!! Love ya',

Don and Jeanie

September 6, 2012 at 5:58 PM

The Chairman's Wife said...

Thinking of you again tonight. It always encouraging to read your words and not words from a guest writer. We will remember you as you remember those gather together this week in your state. You wont' be forgotten even if you can't be there in person. Hugs from WI

September 6, 2012 at 8:33 PM

 

John and Sandy Linder said...

We still cannot imagine all that you are going through. 

Considering all, we think you are doing marvelous.

Glad you have found the strength to keep on keeping on!

September 6, 2012 at 9:09 PM

Dorothy K said...

Welcome to your Last Day of Radiation! So glad this stretch of the road in about to finish!

Love, Dodie

September 7, 6:10 AM

Dan & Cyndie said...

It's 10:14 a.m. & I'm just getting ready to text you & see if you are home from the LAST!!!!! radiation treatment!!!!! You, my dear friend, are one of the bravest women I know! Love your sweet spirit. :)

September 7, 2012 at 10:16 AM

Anita said...

The flowers are beautiful. I always thought it would be so neat to work in a florist's shop. But I'm not sure I'm creative enough.

September 7. 2012 at 4:08 PM

The J's said...

Oh, such beautiful flowers!

September 9, 2012 at 7:55 PM

The Last Child At Home First Day of School Picture

 Wednesday, September 5, 2012

The first day of school comes to all kids, whether they want it to or not. I think she was ready this year At least for a while until things get overwhelming again.  She's off for the weekend in a special place that puts school work into a less important perspective. And, it isn't the social life, either.

So, off she goes into her junior year of high school with new ideas, and new goals. Old friends, and maybe some new ones.

With a mother who staggers out of the bathroom to say good-bye as she is getting ready for radiation, again. Luckily, school started before I went into the hospital so I got my school day photo on the day, not that it really matters so much.

We are glad for some semblance of normal life. 

2 comments:

Dan & Cyndie said...

She's a sweet special gal!!! So glad you have her :)

September 7, 2012 at 10:11AM

The J's said...

Hard to believe so much time has passed since she was that tiny babe...Sweet to see her these last 4 days!

September 9, 2012 at 7:57 PM

 

A Side Note

 Ten years ago at this time, I was done with radiation with one more chemo to go. It was expected recovery from radiation would begin and life would start being "normal" again. 

It was a long time yet before any normal would happen and it was a new normal. 

I am choosing some posts that aren't directly related specifically to cancer or treatment but those that reflect what my life was like during this last chemo treatment and the changes that were happening. 

Flowers in the Hosptial

Saturday, September 1, 2012

I'm not sleeping well tonight. I'm still having a hard time with the mucus and Robitussin issue. No Robitussin and I can't sleep because it is too think and bothering me and with Robitussin, too thin and I'm suctioning every 20 minutes and can't sleep, either. No wonder I'm so tired in the day.

I was going to title this post something about being sleepy, but then I found this photo of the flowers I got from Delton and Renee in the hospital, which we have enjoyed very much, thank you. But, what this photo also shows is the redness on my neck, the "sunburn" from the radiation that in these photos is doing its best to break down the skin. It was sore and required a lot of attention with salve, but here we are over a week later and while my neck is still very red, most of the scaly and sore areas are gone in the side creases and it is looking very good. Most of the inside sores in my mouth healed up white I was in the hospital, too, which is a very good thing, and don't I don't think I'm going to have enough radiation in my last "boost" too get very many back. 

The "Boost" which is the last of the radiation series, started Tues to make up the one day I missed. So, Tuesday after Labor Day will be the last day of the 5 day boost, done in a more concentrated area of Tues, which will also see us with the oncology doctor who hopefully can complete the plan for the chemo, but the main thing is no more chemo until radiation is complete and there is a good chance radiation will be done next week. 

And may all of you enjoy the very special days coming up.

5 comments:

The J's said...

So glad to hear from you! Glad the sores seem to be better, and hope for a good report on Tues also. 

We're really going to miss you at York!!

September 1, 2022 at 7:42 AM

Anita said...

Just another hello!!

I must be having a 'day' because everything's making my eyes all funny and leaky! Anyway--hope your weekend has some special things in it, too! xo

September 1, 2012 at 10:08 AM

Renee said...

That neck looks fierce-some tender! I am happy it is lots better. AND to be looking at the tail end of this radiation makes me want to do a happy dance! We will sure be thinking of you next week and wishing you were there...next year...all healed up and healthy and with new curly hair1 YES!

September 1, 2012 at 12:57 PM

Ruth said...

Hopefully the worst is behind you now...and soon it will ALL be behind you! And just sleep when you can...it really doesn't matter when, as long as you get some rest. Thinking of you!

September 1, 2012 at 8:25 PM

Luanne said...

Good morning, Shelley, Just thinking about you. Hope your day is a cheery one. I am with Renee hoping for curls! Hugs to you. 

Luanne

September 2, 2012 at 9:32 AM