Learning to Swallow

 Wednesday, October 31, 2012

I haven't been in the mood to type blog posts lately. It has been more fun to sleep and read. And I have been trying to office work done, a little every day. I just can't get enthused about writing just now, but I do want to update once in a while, but it may not be very often. 

It's been pretty well accepted that I would have to learn to swallow all over again, and it seemed like now was the time since I was having mucus that I needed to swallow and that wasn't happening either. So, I went to a speech therapist Friday and a dear lady named Edna had me swallow water which I coughed up and she tried thicker liquid which I promptly threw up. I gag so easily. She then gave me various exercises to do which include howling like a coyote, saying "ah" several times. Those two exercises are done which squeezing my hands together, The pressure of the hands somehow gives more "oomph" to the inside, too. I have to say 10 words that start with "g" or "k", blow a party favor, swallow three times with my tongue between my teeth and say, "Please go get me a good magazine." These are for strengthing the tongue and throat muscles. Believe it or not the howling one is the easiest, even though it is pretty funny to be howling around. 

Then on Monday I had a modified Barium swallow where I swallowed various thickness of liquids and watch the x-ray as it goes down. Jim watched too, and they set it up so I could see it and evaluate it. The water wants to get into the windpipe, but it comes back up so quickly to be swallowed so there are no worries there and the applesauce went down nicely, too. It hurts a big, so does the water, but not as bad. In fact, it might be a bit early for all this swallowing since my throat is still sore, but I will try to keep plugging on. I'm starting with a little applesauce and water every day. 

This afternoon I had therapy in the new outpatient physical therapy room at the hospital. The new area is just corridors and rooms and it is hard to find where things are. I didn't remember where ti was, and I'm not sure I could find it again, but mom says she can. She just gave me some more things to say, some swabs to put in the freezer to stimulate my tongue. I hope I'm not jumping the gun too much, since my throat still hurts. I wish it would get healed up. So, Friday, I have an appointment with the radiation dr. and another session with the therapist. So, things are just going to be marching on for awhile. Next week, I go to Omaha on Tues. They want to get an MRI

It's take a lot longer to get all healed up than a body thinks. 

October 31, 2022 -- When I mentioned before that my medications didn't do much for easing the pain in my throat. In fact, I'm not sure it didn't any good at all. If it it did, I hate to think what the pain would have been like without it. Anyway, it was so painful that a couple of weeks after radiation started it was too painful to swallow, which made it too painful to eat and since I wasn't eating I got the PEG tube. So, I quit swallowing altogether and had to learn all over again. 

12 comments:

Renee said...

Oh, Shelley, I just had to chuckle thinking of you letting out a coyote's howl every now and then. I just never thought about you needing to learn to swallow again...My! ~ don't we take out bodies functions SO for granted when all it working properly?! Don't expect too much of your body too soon...it has been through the wringer and it needs lots of lots of time to heal. You are doing amazing and don't blog if you don't feel like it...just do the things that make you happy right now...you DESERVE it. 

October 31, 2012 at 10:56 PM

The J's said...

Yes, I can just imagine you practicing those howls...hehe! Hope the check-ups go well!!

October 31, 2012 at 11:05 PM

Dorothy K said...

Aargh we wish it would too! Get healed up, I mean. Jim mentioned lately that a doctor said your throat looks like a bomb has gone off in it. I think that gives me the most accurate picture of what it's like to get everything back in working order again. Anyway...I'm so glad you don't have to start with pickled herring or something. Applesauce seems like a nice friendly food at this point! March march march...it's called "soldiering on"! And we applaud your efforts. 

Love you, Dodie

November 1, 2012 at 8:48 AM

John and Sandy Linder said...

Healing wishes for you!

November 1, 2012 at 7:04 PM

Darcie said...

I guess I was totally in the dark to realize that you would have to relearn how to swallow, too. Wow, Shelley...what a road. Like the other lady said...all the little things we take for granted, makes me want to be more and more thankful and ALL the little things. 

November 1, 2012 at 8:13 PM

gkey said...

Dear Learning, 

Keep up the good work! you are a strong fighter, and we are all so proud of you! I am glad you referred to sleeping as your recent fun. Both are good for you I am sure. 

Bit by bit you are recovering :-)

November 2, 2012 at 6:22 PM

Anonymous said...

Dear Shelley, 

You are such a trooper! When I read about swallowing the thickened water, my stomach lurched before I even read that you threw it up! Ugh! I'm so glad, though, that you "push on" so faithfully and don't have a "give-up" attitude! I'm sure you DID feel funny howling and I'm sure others around you got a kick out of it too! Keep on keeping on in all ways!

Barb K.

November 3, 2012 at 1:28 PM

John and Sandy Linder said...

Just stopping by with a warm Hello~

November 4, 2012 at 8:28 PM

John and Sandy Linder said...

Dropping to see Hello and hoping your are progressing everyday~

November 18, 2012 at 8:54 PM

Ann-alda said...

We are friends from TN whoj have been following Gramma's blog. We have been worried since there has been no post since Oct. 31. Could someone else give us an update on her? We care. 

\November 25, 2012 at 2:55 PM

Unknown said...

Ditto! Friends from IL and we care, also!!

November 30, 2012 at 8:44 AM

Anonymous said...

Yes, G'ma. Hope all is well with you and yours!! IL friends

December 4, 2012 at 9:24 AM

Feeling Better

 Monday, October 22, 2012

It's been a long time again since updating this blog. But, I've been enjoying myself with a little crocheting, reading (which I haven't done for ages) and napping. And, I've been not enjoying myself with some extra office work that requires phone calling and online bother. Jim has to do some of my phone calling, but I am getting so if I talk slowly and keep my mouth wet, I can talk for awhile. It's still hurts to talk too long. Talking isn't fun yet, though I had a doctor's appointment this morning to see my oncology doctor and had blood taken and a chest x-ray. I was hoping they could take the blood from the port and flush it since it is supposed to be flushing about once a month. But, it didn't work, as usual...I'm ready to have the thing out and forget about it. It has had to have some fancy medicine put in every time to dissolve some web thing that covers the tube and doesn't let the blood come out. So, they did that again and we talked to our doctor about having the port out since it doesn't work.

We asked the same question of our Omaha Doctor last week. and he was of the mind to wait to see if we would want to use it again, but our doctor today said if there was treatment done again it would be totally different and we might not need a port at all. So, he's in favor of having it out after I have my MRI which should be done in a couple of weeks in Omaha.

I was supposed to have the MRI done this time, but I'm still producing plenty of mucus from my sinuses so he wanted to wait. That's a good thing. It is hard to lie flat for that long with mucus in your head. I'm not sure I'll be ready in two weeks either. 

I'm getting better for sure, but it is slow going and sometimes hard to believe it is happening at all. I now I am though because I am getting more strength all the time. It is hard to know what to start thinking about first. Mostly now, it is of work and it is hard to think about all the thigs I sued to do so effortlessly and I need to be starting some of them up. 

I'm not sure what I should start on first. 

October 22, 2022 -- I had the port put in because the chemo medicine would be somewhat irritating to my skin to have a regular IV every time. The problem was, that this web thing would have grown over the little tube that went into my blood vessel and it wouldn't work. So, every time I went in for chemo they would poke me with a big curved needle through my skin into the port, find out it didn't work, put this really expensive medicine into it, wait 45 minutes for it to clear out. While this was going on they would put the regular IV in to get started. Then, after the 45 minutes they would poke me again into my port, and by this time the topical numbing medicine would have worn off and I would be set for the rest of the day. I think I was good for the rest of the session, the next two days, but the next month this same process would be repeated. 

8 comments:

Brenda said...

So glad you are doing better, bit by bit!

October 22, 2012 at 4:07 PM

Anonymous said...

It was so good to hear from you! I guess no news is good news, but I had been wondering...not to make you feel guilty about not writing or anything! I'm thankful that you are feeling better and gaining strength...keep on enjoying yourself. You deserve it!

Sending love from Wisner!

October 22, 2012 at 5:35 PM

Oleva said...

Good to hear from you again, and glad for every "bit of better" and that you are aware of it yourself. 

Think of you every day.

Love, 

C. and O.

October 22, 2012 at 10:07 PM

Anonymous said...

Shelley, you are amazing!! I can hardly imagine you making phone calls at this point, but you've amazed me all the way through this ordeal! Again, I love your attitude and spirit through all this! It was good to see your sis-in-law, Dorothy at a funeral last week---gad a wee visit with her and got her perspective on your situation. You are fortunate to have such caring sisters-in-law, not to mention a wonderful and caring husband---also a host of family and friends! Thanks, again, for keeping us posted and we're hoping that things will keep improving for you. 

Barb K.

October 22, 2012 at 11:49 PM

gkey said...

Dear, dear friend, 

Thinking of you all today @ the Kleeb house.

Words fail in expressing how much we care for all of you!

Please feel hugged by us today.

Love,

From me & mine here. 

October 23, 2012 at 10:03 AM

Dan & Cyndie said...

Just loving that you are sounding more like our Shelley once again. :)

With much love & care from us both.

October 23 2012 at 7:42 PM

The J's said...

So good to hear from you again!

Time, time, time! That was some pretty hefty stuff your body went thru and it will take time to get yourself back to feeling, thinking and doing normally again.

Take care my friend!

October 24, 2012 at 10:30 PM

Anita said...

And I hope the upward motion has continued!!

So many things I wouldn't have thought of - like the MRI with a head full of mucus...sounds horrible. I do hope you'll have significantly less of that by the time you have the MRI...xo

October 27, 2012 at 3:10 PM

Time For Another Post

 Saturday, October 13, 2012

I feel like it is time to be writing another blog post. The last few days when I've been thinking about it, an overwhelming desire for a nap has overtaken me. And that is what happens instead. This weekend is my "low" point for my last chemo. That last two times I have been in the hospital with really low white blood counts and a fever during this time. I'e been having my blood drawn every few days to see how my body is reacting to the shot that was supposed to encourage my body to make lots of white blood cells. The first report was very good, 8.5 on Monday, but yesterday's what 2.2. I was in the hospital with a fever last time at that number. I was heading for a bad night last night, cold and coughing (mucus), sometimes I throw up with that (pardon the details), so after an 11:30 bed change, I slept from midnight until 2 am, and from then to 6 am. Wow, no waking up in the middles. That is totally amazing and it may be the first time it has happened since I got sick. I didn't sleep much the night before because I am having breathing problems with my sinuses, and I really don't like to breathe through my mouth. It makes it SO dry and uncomfortable in my mouth. I need to keep saying to myself, this is the low, we are still fighting chemo off. It really isn't the upward swing quite yet. 

I really need to use what energy I have doing business work for Jim. That really does come first. Except, today is Saturday, so it is coming second. 

It was so very nice to Bonita to take a little picture of our home and life, but one thing she didn't do is my love of yarn. For those people that really know me and how many miles of yearn I have made into things will be glad to know I picked up a crochet hook two days ago, and I plan to slowly work on an afghan. I have three rows finished. I hope to do a little every day, even less that one row if it has to be. 

But office work will be before that today. 

Now office work is done for awhile and I am reminded that I'm still fighting mucus and it is winning today. I hope it will let me take a nap. 

October 13, 2022 -- I think Bonita "over-egged the pudding" a bit with that post. :)

8 comments:

Oleva said...

So glad to see your post, Shelley, and know you spent your strength thinking of others and we also think of you, but with more strength than you have!!! I have been picking up along the way that that is "so you". You are a good teacher by example. Send us a picture of the finished afghan, please, when it is done. Hope the "uck" of the chemo will soo be a past tense thing, tho' it does take time and feels in some unexplainable ways I'm sure. 

Our loving care, 

C. and O.

October 13, 2012 at 8:30 PM

Dorothy K said...

I'm busy wondering what kind of a Sunday you ended up having...hope things take an upswing here this week. and wow, what an interesting thought that you won't be heading into chemo again.  So gains might get to actually be gains! Well now...when the yarn comes out, that IS a good sign! We have to clean up at EB tomorrow...then head back to the Cities and begin a new year!

Love, Dodie

October 14, 2012 at 10:06k PM

Dan & Cyndie said...

Like Dorothy...I saw the "back to yarn" as a good sign also. :) Hope you are over this hump soon & can feel like really are on the mend!!! So good to hear from you & hope your weekend finished out okay. :)

October 15, 2012 at 10:30 AM

Renee said...

YaY...the yarn is making a comeback...so that means YOU are too. I sure do hope you had a good day yesterday and that the upswing is just beginning...and let it be slow if it needs to be, we just want it do be steady with no dips in it. I think that is entirely possible since the chemo is a thing of the past. 

Love, love, love....

October 15, 2012 at 11:05 AM

Anonymous said...

Shelley, good to hear from you again. Glad to hear you are back to yarn! You do beautiful work. Hopefully this is the "upswing" now for you and you can start to feel better. We sure miss you on Sunday mornings, so looking forward to when we can see your smiling face! Love and hugs, Holly

October 15, 2012 at 1:33 PM

Darcie said...

Hope that your strength is returning for you more each and every day!

October 18, 2012 at 7:30 PM

John and Sandy Linder said...

Hope you are feeling good and able to enjoy this gorgeous Nebraska fall day ~ 

October 20, 2012 at 1:21 PM

Anita said...

I'm slow reading posts again so sincerely hope that you've gotten over this mountain and are feeling better! Glad you feel like crocheting! Yay!!

October 27, 2012 at 3:06 PM

Shelley, The Person

 Tuesday October 9, 2012

Here's the guest-writer (and I really am a guest at this time!) slipping into the author's chair again, and happily, it is not because Shelley is too sick to write. Many of the people who read this blog, know Shelley very, very well, but through the last couple months this blog has collected quite a few people who don't actually know Shelley. Here are a few random imagines that may express who Shelley "is".

This admonition on the "to do" list board on the refrigerator is "pure Shelley." It has been on the board for the last couple of months, put there before Shelley knew that she would be among the sick or the weak. 

Shelley is a love of great literature, and collects and remembers special quotes from what she's read. I found this little book that she put together quite a while ago.

Too bad every single page couldn't be included.

Her decorating in honor of her Deere husband.

A real homemaker, as is evidenced by the well stocked larder.

Some of what you see here was done this year by helpful friends and family.

Some people keep a Bible on the coffee table as decoration, but in this household it's more of a utility. Everyone is enjoying Grandpa Kleeb's old giant print Bible.

This is the brick house that has been home for them most of their married years. It's not quite in town, and it's not quite out of town.

We get to see this cheery little sprite go off to school every morning. 

Sometimes she leaves notes behind

that leave us with watery eyes

and squishy hearts.

 It's a day brightener when the grandboys stop by,

 

and their parents.

People often ask how Jim is doing...

Pretty well, I'd say.

This seems to be part of his therapy.

You know raising chickens is the rising trend, and it has hit this household, too. 

I'm glad ot consign that to the "been there done that" status, 

but, Jim loves those chickens. They somewhat earn their keep now. 

Probably don't need a picture of this, but if you ever do the nasal/sinus surgery and treatment thing, you will need box and box of tissues. Also, a clipboard for writing notes will come in handy when your voice is zapped by the treatments.

This is the morning view from their house, looking to the east. It's the sunrise, the beginning of a new day. Just like with Shelley, the night time of treatment is receding, and there are hints of light peeking through. 

"Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised."

October 9, 2022 --  I don't think I ever mentioned that I lost the ability to speak for a couple of months due to effects of the radiation. No matter the amount and kind of painkiller I had, my throat was VERY sore. I used a clipboard or white board to write on when I had something that needed to be said. 

13 comments:

The Chairman's Wife said...

I really don't know Shelley all that well, just one meeting and through the gift of the internet. But my suspicions are very confirmed here. Thank you for sharing a bit deeper into the thoughtful, loving, and Spiritual person she is. I would like to call her my friend!

October 9, 2012 at 5:50 PM

John and Sandy Linder said...

BEAUTIFUL!

October 9, 2012 at 9:02 PM

Dorothy K said...

Well now. Talk about watery eyes. You sure know how to make them. Thank you Bon for a most beautiful description of the family I love so much. 

October 10, 2012 6:09 AM

Lanae said...

Beautiful...Shelley AND her family all, the writing and the pictures, too...

October 10, 2012 at 8:18 AM

The J's said...

Oh, my goodness, what a beautiful and teary eyed post!

You said it so perfectly! LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!

Hugs from me ❤️

October 10, 2012 at 8:54 AM

Anonymous said...

I don't need the picture of the tissues, but I need a tissue. What a lovely picture of Shelley! Thanks, Bonita, and anyone who helped with that post!

Sending love from Wisner, NE

October 10, 2012 at 10:00 AM

Renee said...

You did it to me, too...grabbing for the tissues to help the leaking eyes! All of it is so true...this is beautifully done, I simply adore this post!

I scarcely recognize Zane...he's so big and grown up looking...and now Barry looks more like I remember Zane looking. What a nice family picture of those four! Not hard to believe Lynette is a day brightener in that household! Thanks bunches dear guest writer!!

October 10, 2012 at 10:33 AM

Oleva said...

Outstanding!! I LOVE this post and the "feelings" that come from someone who really knows Shelley and Jim and their family. Glad for the pictures also!! We are glad for you, Shelley for every sign of better days of health. Hoping that continues.

Love and care,

Carl and Oleva

October 11, 2012 at 12:21 AM

Gary said...

I am a very infrequent visitor, but after hearing the news of Shelley's illness a couple weeks ago, I thought I should get an update. I immediately had suspicions as to the identity of the guest writer, which were confirmed in the comments. :) Hope all goes well for you, Shelley. You and Jim need to make it back for Menomonie. :)

October 11, 2012 at 12:14 PM

Janna said...

Wow, just simply, wow, this is such a special post, I do not know you all personally although I frequent Gramma's Corner often. I loe her simple and honest posts but more so Gramma is so positive and sweet in her writings. Wishing Shelley and family the very best in teh days ahead. 

a SW/MN stalker!

October 11, 2012 at 1:21 PM

Anita said...

"The country's not going to the dogs, it's going to the chicken," said Someone once (or twice or 3 times! ;) Well, I'm glad there are people around who like to do more than eat chickens and their eggs!

Beautiful post. I'm glad you're there B! :)

October 12, 2012 at 6:49 AM

Dan & Cyndie said...

Oh, my, the squishy heart thingy is being accompanied by teary eyes here, too!!! Many thanks, dear one, for so very perfectly describing our dear sister-friend, Shelley!!! And her very dear precious family...one & all :)

October 12, 2012 at 9:24 AM

Darcie said...

What a beautiful post to learn even more beautiful things about an already truly beautiful person. 

October 18, 2012 7:31 PM

The Last Round of Chemo Begins

 Monday, October 1, 2012

This sounds all well and good, and it is all well and good, since the last of any bad thing IS good. 

They keep telling me, "Remember, as hard as this is on your body, it is just as hard on the cancer." It is very hard for me to be remembering that a lot of times. 

I"m sitting here, almost finishing with my very long chemo day as they are flushing fluid out to protect my kidneys from today's Cisplatin. I have forgotten, that flushing fluid out makes my mouth drier than usual, so that is pretty uncomfortable. It is also hard to think about facing another three weeks of extra dry mouth and possibly more mouth sores since those are both side effects of my chemo.

I'm also going to be given the shot on Thurs, that is supposed to produce huge amounts of white blood cells. This is to keep me out of the hospital with low white blood cell counts, however, if the red blood cell count goes very low, I will end up in the hospital because of that. But, it would only be long enough that I would need to have blood given me, and it's shouldn't be for nearly as long. I was in for a week the other two times!!

Tomorrow are my two short days of Chemo, and since I didn't sleep very well last night, I'm ready for a nap.

8 comments:

Renee said...

Oh, wow...I had it wrong. I thought today was the conclusions of this chemo stint...two more days...Blee!! But they are the LAST ones, right? You are almost to the end of this long, long treatment road. I am so pround of you, AND your family, that has stood by your side, and helped you get to this point!!!

October 1, 2012 at 7:32 PM

Oleva said...

Just got "caught up with you" as we left last Tues., then to Menomonie on Wed....Did catch up a little by asking your Sis-in-law and your daughter about you!! :-) What a surprise.

Our convention was so encouraging, but very, very sobering and heart searching. So much was mentioned about prayer. For one: "if we don't pray we can't Live"! I'm glad the Lord understands that sometimes we aren't able to pray for ourselves and moves those who are able to pray for us. So thankful for the times when others have carried me on their hearts to the Lord.

Love, to you and yours, 

C. and O.

October 1, 2012 at 11:04 PM

Anita said...

Sure hope this round goes quickly and you can get down to the serious business of really regaining lost ground!! xo

October 2, 2012 at 2:50 PM

Gramma Lorna and Grampa Garland said...

Glad you were able to write again as always anxious to hear!! Love you! Lorna

October 2, 2012 at 9:09 PM

The J's said...

I do like the sound of "last round". And I DO hope this one goes better!!

So good to hear from you again.

October 2, 2012 at 10:06 PM

Dan & Cyndie said...

"LAST ROUND", words to cheer about for sure!!! So hoping the shot works AND your red blood count stays up AND you get to begin to regain & heal. So very much value your spirit & courage thru all. love you most dearly!!

October 3, 2012 at 9:30 AM

Lanae said...

I am glad this is the last round, almost done! I hope it goes well for you, too. Thinking of you often. 

October 3, 2012 at 1:06 PM

Njos Family said...

Yay, love all the smiles in this post - made me smile, too.

October 4, 2012 at 10:14 PM